Hotel Utah Saloon: Deliciously Cheap

For my first brunch post, I decided I wanted to go somewhere new. What calls to me when looking for a great brunch restaurant isn't necessarily... anything. I try not to judge a book by its cover. The Hotel Utah is the type of place you usually judge by its cover. It's a total dive, and true to the name it's an actual saloon. Built in 1908, the Hotel Utah has been standing in the same South of Market spot for a long time, so it's accumulated more than a few bumps and bruises over the years -- but if you look closely enough you can see it was once a beautiful building. The wood work of the bar is gorgeously detailed, which you wouldn't expect given you're sitting in a dive bar. Don't get me wrong, the place is a pit, but it's got some charm beneath the grime.
I was meeting a friend and settled on Hotel Utah because it was close to the Caltrain and while scanning Yelp, it showed up around the end of the results list (which is long when you're searching "brunch, soma). When I went to the website and saw the brunch menu, I knew I was in for a divish treat. And it was. The place is covered in 102 years worth of "personality."
When I walked in, even for all my brunch bravery, I almost turned around and walked out. My friend was at the bar drinking a $9 bottomless mimosa, which had me sold. A no-fuss bottomless mimosa is not easy to find in San Francisco! And it wasn't a bad mimosa either, not the best I've ever had, but I had 5 of them for $9 so no complaints. The bar tender, Robert (possibly Roger, I may have misheard), was incredibly friendly, and when I asked if there were any tables he giggled a little let me know there were tables behind me and upstairs... it's a seat yourself kind of place and we were the only ones there to boot. We settled on a table in front of the bar for ease of access to more mimosas and to enjoy the view... of the highway on ramp. Beautiful! [ed. note: sarcasm]
The menu is short and to the point: eggs, more eggs, another plate of eggs, home fries and a Monte Crisco sandwich (which has eggs in the batter). If you don't like eggs, this is not your "I'll have the french toast" kind of place. Alternatives are not on the table. But when they do, they do well -- and it's surprisingly vegetarian friendly. Just don't be afraid of the "trash heap scramble" -- a concoction of spinach, potatoes, zucchinni, and cheese. It's creamy and delicious in a way that a lot of places that charge way more than $4 aspire to achieve. I was in shock at how genuinely pleased I was with the trash heap (I had the "Baby breakfast burrito" which is the trash heap scramble inside of a flour tortilla and cost $2 less than the straight trash heap). It was $4 of delicious. Since the menu items were cheap and labeled as "small plates" (implying one should order a lot and share) I also got two crab cake benedicts, which were $4 each or two for $7. Usually I expect to pay $12-$16 for a crab cake or smoked salmon benedict, so for $7, I just had to opt for two. The food prices made me feel a bit gluttonous.
The crab cake benedict came out and it wasn't the most visually stunning presentation, but it more then adequate for $3.50 a pop.
 not too shabby for $7!
 The eggs were really well poached -- perfectly soft on with amazingly runny yolk. The crab cakes were slightly charred on the outside, which some people like, but the important thing was that they were hot all the way through. I won't claim to be a crab cake expert, but it's a bummer when you go into a place and get excited for crab cakes and they aren't cook thoroughly -- no disappointment at Hotel Utah, the crab cakes were hot and had some flavorful spices that went well with the nondescript hollandaise sauce. The english muffin wasn't homemade, but paying three times as much for the same dish won't guarantee you fresh english muffins. My friend opted for lunch and had a turkey club, which he said had delicious bacon, for the meat eaters out there, and he noted that the bread was perfectly toasted.


We stayed having mimosas from 11am until 2:30pm, and enjoyed every minute of conversation and food. The Hotel Utah is not the type of place you bring your mother on Mothers Day or your significant other on a brunch date. No, it's the type of place you are more likely to wind up when you're hung over and non-discerning. But I'm going to advocate that people try this place out when some friends when they're in Soma. When they're feeling brave and they're with people they know won't judge them for brining them to a grungy saloon at 11am on a Saturday (that takes some trust!). I wouldn't make the trek from your own neighborhood dive, but if it's not out of your way, hit it up for a surprisingly & deliciously cheap alternative to a higher end brunch.

All the Info:

500 4th Street
(between Harrison St & Bryant St)
San Francisco, CA 94107

(415) 546-6300

www.thehotelutahsaloon.com

Find it on Yelp:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/hotel-utah-saloon-san-francisco