Upward Trends: Southern Style Brunch Staples

The Boxing Room's Brunch Offerings

Having rarely travelled below the Mason/Dixon line, I won't claim to be an authority on southern cuisine. Recently, however, it feels like you don't need to leave Yankee territory to get a yourself a helping of southern staples — you just need to go to brunch.

Zero Zero's Chicken & Waffles

In San Francisco there seems to be an ever growing abundance of menus serving up the almost unholy signature southern dish: fried chicken and waffles. From fancy brunches to street-side service, you can get a crispy waffle smothered by even crispier chicken.

Top choices for a fixing of fried chicken & waffles in San Francisco are:

• Zero Zero, they cover your waffles in a layer of butter and syrup to get the perfect balance of savory and sweet.
• Farmer Browns Little Skillet —they will do you right, with a distinctly sweet waffle and the crispiest of chicken.
• Citizen Band — does refined diner better than anyone, and their fried chicken is no exception.
• Good Foods Catering — A regular at the Window SF,  Good Foods makes chicken & waffles with some soul.
• Town Hall — The fanciest entry on the list, brunch at Town Hall is a must-try. Regulars will know that the only thing that could make their fried chicken better is a helping of waffles.

Farmer Browns: Fancy Soul Food

But make no mistake, chicken & waffles isn't the only southern flavor popping up around San Francisco. More than just southern and soul inspired, The Boxing Room and Brenda's French Soul Food have menus wholly devoted to bringing New Orleans cuisine to San Francisco (you won't find chicken & waffles on either of their menus).

Both Boxing & Brenda's serve up a good number of brunch dishes featuring crawfish, catfish and grits. If you're feeling adventurous, you'll regularly spot alligator on Boxing Room's menu too.

I'm keeping my eye out for the growing number of shrimp & grits dishes around San Francisco (a personal favorite of mine), so I may be following up with another southern post soon. And with that, I'll leave you with a tantalizing look at Serpentine's biscuits & gravy.

Serpentine's Biscuits & Gravy

Mixing Business with Pleasure: The Brunch Blog Makes a Video

Without giving too much away about my real life, I can readily admit to having a job. Being gainfully employed mean I don't get to spend as much time as I would like brunching and writing about brunch, but sometimes my worlds collide.

Last week I set out to better understand the world of video creation. A few simple facts made me perfect self experiment:

• I'm not a film maker
• I don't harbor any secret dreams to be a YouTube superstar 
• I have a blog completely unrelated to work with lots of pictures

The goal was to see if I could create a compelling video for my blog using only the resources I had on hand: my iPhone and the internet. I used some free online video creation services and this is what I came up with...

If anyone has any thoughts, other services, suggestions or otherwise shoot me an email at jesskateo@gmail.com or leave a comment.

Many thanks.

Upward Trends: The Brunch Pop-Up

There have been several awful trends that have come out of the last few years. The return of 80s neon. High-waisted pants. Large, square glasses frames. Denim hot pants. The food world has had better luck with trends in the same time period including kale, local foods, slow-food, brussels sprouts. Obviously my personal favorite trend has been the rise in brunch offerings.

More specifically, there has been a rise in a certain type of brunch offerings: Pop-ups. What is a pop-up? A pop-up is when a guest chef essentially takes over the kitchen of a restaurant. Chefs serve up what they do best, but with the flexibility to have fun and deviate from what's on their own menu. Pop-ups are run by a spectrum of chefs: catering kings, food-truckers, fine-dining darlings, rising-stars, and old-guard stalwarts.

Some spots in San Francisco have institutionalized pop-ups, by hosting weekly visiting chefs. Pop-up venues you can reliably expect to see a brunch pop-up include:

Dear Mom, which regularly hosts guest chefs for it's Sunday brunch. Frequent favorites include Fogcutter and Seoul Patch Korea.

Dear Mom

The Window SF, soon to be the latest iteration of Coffee Bar, is currently all pop-ups all the time. They serve up brunch Saturday and Sunday. Frequent favorites include Good Foods Catering and Bayou by the Bay.

Good Food Catering at The Window SF

Parada 22, turns into a Haight satellite location for the Mission's famous Boogaloo's brunch on Saturday & Sundays.

Yield Wine Bar, lets BMSF take over its kitchen to serve up Hair of the Dogpatch brunch on Saturdays and Sundays.

BMSF at Yield Wine Bar

Here's a few non-brunch San Francisco pop-ups on my radar:

• LihoLiho Yacht Club pop-up is run by Ravi Kapur, formerly executive chef at Prospect.  You can find him serving up a prix-fixe menu at Citizens Band.
• Rice Paper Scissors, bring Vietnamese street food to the streets of San Francisco (sometimes literally to the street). Click through to their website to see where they'll be popping up next.
• HayaHon is serving up Japanese food at the former Mercury Lounge on 12th & Folsom.

Diners & Dives: The Lowbrow Brunch

When I last wrote, I waxed poetic about my love of The Fancy Brunch (TFB). But it's not the end all, be all of brunch. In fact, many of life's greatest surprises are found in diners and dive bars. There's more than a few hole-in-the-wall joints, breakfast focused diners, and (most surprisingly) dive bars that serve up a great brunch on the weekends.

Nova: The low end of lowbrow brunching

In San Francisco, possibly the most brunch inundated city in the world, the lowbrow end of the brunch gamut is filled with a ton of places where you can have a quality brunch without spending much money. What are some of the indicators of a good lowbrow brunch joint?

Price is clearly an issue. If you're paying more than $10 for an entree but having a lowbrow brunch, you've likely wandered into a casual dining purgatory (e.g., a Chili's). I suggest running as fast as you can, unless you enjoy your brunch with a side of screaming baby. Worse, you may have found yourself in a Hipster Hell, which is a place that over charges for shitty food based on the premise that the venue is cool. I would also suggest running. A proper lowbrow brunch shouldn't cost more than $20 per person including drinks and a small plate to start.

Seoul Patch's Brunch Menu

Lowbrow brunches also have a high correlation with ethnic food. Do not fear the lowbrow ethnic brunch: it is a testament to the multi-culture quilt that is American society... And I fucking love lowbrow fusions. The breakfast burrito is only the tip of the cheap ethnic brunch iceberg. In San Francisco you can find lowbrow brunch visionaries such as Punjab, the confusingly named Chinese food restaurant that doesn't serve Indian food but does serve a free mimosa with brunch (and only $2 for each mimosa after), and Seoul Patch Korea, a popup that dishes out Korea street food for brunch at places around the city including Dear Mom in the Mission and The Window in Soma. But I digress, despite their high overlap on a venn diagram, this post isn't about ethnic food or popups.

Full of kitsch: Friendly Toast, Cambridge.

The venue itself should be a great tip off as to weather or not you're having a lowbrow brunch. Are you in a bar? Is someone in the place already drunk? Is the place covered in kitsch? Does it feel like you're eating at a creepy old lady's estate sale? Did you just order from the window of a truck? Those easy questions to ask that will very quickly illuminate the classiness of your brunch.

Diners, the hillbilly cousin to the café, are often home to breakfast, which bodes well for their ability to have a solid brunch offering. In San Francisco, Dottie's is a plastic menu diner and breakfast/brunch mecca -- despite it's claims of being a properly accented café. The pancakes are delicious, the specials are messy, the chairs fairly uncomfortable, and presentation means very little at Dottie's. All that really matters is serving up a good, quality meal for relatively cheap.

And that, friends, is the essence of the lowbrow brunch. It is something to be enjoyed, loved, and most of all experienced. Don't be afraid of finding yourself on the wrong side of the tracks for a delicious brunch.

...Oh, and for the record, my personal favorite lowbrow brunch in San Francisco is hands down Red Door Cafe.

Long Time, No Brunch.

Oh, hello there. It has been awhile, hasn't?

With good reason I've been MIA on the blog, though I've been much better about adding musings and observations to my Twitter (@brunchblog). I was in Zurich, Switzerland for a bit, which is a land where brunch isn't a tradition (though it's starting a scene). Was in Seattle, where I did indeed brunch my heart out, but didn't have a reliable internet connection.

But excuses aside, where have I been in the last month? Some highlights:

15 Romolo Poached Egg Over Duck Hash

15 Romolo Waffle Shot & Bloody Hammer

I've indulged in a Punch Drunk Brunch at 15 Romolo. A longtime favorite watering hole, it's now a favorite brunch spot too. They have a fantastic bar bites menu available every day, and their weekend brunch menu is just as well done. All dishes are bigger than small bites and cost $8-$9 -- one dish makes a meal, but you can have a giant feast for the same price as a single entry anywhere else.


I dived even further into the bar brunch scene at Dear Mom, where a cash-only snafu aside, I had the perfect hangover remedy brunch. I'm pretty sure there was Kraft cheese singles on my breakfast burrito, but it was strangely perfect. I wouldn't take a date, but if you're a hardcore hipster, you'll win cool points coming here on the weekend.

I've also enjoyed the finer things in life at Serpentine, the Dogpatch delight that never disappoints. Between reasonable prices and a well honed menu, it's hard not to leave with a smile on your face. 

Dungeness Crab Benedict

While they don't have the world's greatest dungeness crab benedict, but it's pretty damn good for less than $15. Slightly blander than you expect, the hollandaise doesn't do well competing with the buttery biscuit at the base of the benedict. While the fried lemon rind on top doesn't really do much for flavor, when it comes to presentation it's incredibly pleasing to see with the friend capers.

Banana Pineapple Pancake

Serpentine's pancakes on the other hand, actually can claim to be some of the best in San Francisco. If you leave without sharing a $5 banana walnut pancake as an appetizer or dessert, we're not friends.

The breakfast sandwich my friend had was also one of the better in the city -- so simple, yet so delicious.

And the most unexpectedly delightful dish was the biscuits & gravy -- Serpentine isn't a southern joint, but they do it justice.

Serpentine Biscuits & Gravy

Those were just a few highlights, I'll try to catch up a bit more this week... Having not been to brunch in two weeks (come the weekend, at least), I'm starting to suffer from withdrawal symptoms.

Restaurant Info:
15 Romolo
15 Romolo Place, San Francisco, CA 94133
Brunch: Saturday & Sunday, 11am-3pm

Dear Mom

2700 16th Street, San Francisco, CA 94103

Brunch: Sunday, 11am-5pm

Serpentine

2495 3rd Street  San Francisco, CA 94107

Brunch: Saturday & Sunday 10am - 2:30pm

Brunch: You Fancy, Huh?

As a follow up to my last post, I decided to elaborate on my musings about brunch venues and expectations by breaking down one of my favorite types of brunch: The Fancy Brunch.
The Fancy Brunch (referred to henceforth as "TFB") is the most easily recognized brunch. It has it's fingers in a lot of pots, serving as something to do with your parents on a holiday weekend, a date activity, or, if you're a yuppie, any Saturday or Sunday.

An artfully crafted cheese plate is a sure sign of The Fancy Brunch

The reason I dub TFB the most easily recognizable brunch is because it's likely the type of brunch you hated going to as a kid, wishing instead that you got to go to McDonalds for hotcakes on Easter instead of some stuffy place that forced you to sit the whole time. At least that's what I've heard; my family did not brunch, unless you count lunch at the 24-hour IHOP.

Me being fancy.

These days, I love me some TFB. I feel especially privileged living a life in which I can afford to drop an egregious amount of money on TFB. The TFB is pretty much the antithesis to my childhood when a fancy meal was one that didn't come out of a box or the school cafeteria.

I don't want to pigeonhole TFB into a price bracket. While in a sense it could be defined by a price point, really it's much more than that. It's the service. It's the presentation. It's the seasonality of the dishes. It's the range of cocktails deemed socially acceptable to drink before noon.

But there's a dark side to TFB. It's the lurking danger that exists in any relationship. It's expectation. When I indulge in TFB, I expect to pay a premium. I expect my portions to be so small they're considered un-American. And along with those expectations, I except stellar food and great service. It takes much less to make me upset. Slow service, sloppy presentation, un-knowledgable wait staff. And the biggest blight: mediocre food -- I don't care how luxurious your leather seats are, I could spend a lot less on mediocre food. Hell, I could spend a lot less on good food.

Baked Kale... Yeah, you Fancy.

Many times the risk is worth the reward. Being doted upon by an attentive staff. Elderberry and champagne. Delicious dishes. But don't let your guard down and assume that menu prices alone ensure you a good TFB.  With that in mind, go forth and get fancy.

The Brunch Gamut: From Fancy to Far Less Fancy

Inspired by a sentence in the introduction to SFoodie's latest Top 10 Brunches in San Francisco list, I got to thinking about the types of brunches:

"This city is home to many flavors of brunch spots, from chichi raw bar restaurants to good old-fashioned American breakfast diners. We have brunches based in almost every cuisine at almost every price level in almost every neighborhood."

It's true, San Francisco has brunch offerings that run the gamut of price, taste, atmosphere, and expectation. What are some of the criteria that define the brunch venue spectrum? For the most part it's exactly what you'd expect: Price, Cuisine, Seating, Service, Full bar. But the easiest way to align your brunch expectations is to look at the meals regularly served.

If it's a dinner venue that doesn't open it's doors before 5:30pm  Monday-Friday, but supplements it's serving hours with a 10am-3pm brunch seating on Saturday and Sunday, you're looking at a pricey, potentially bandwagoning, brunch. A lot of restaurants on the finer dining end of the spectrum have begun serving brunch, offering up little variation on Benedicts, semolina waffles, and crispy/battered/bourbon french toast. Sometimes it's a fantastic gastronomical experience (see: Foreign Cinema), while other times, it can be a bit of a disappointment (see: Beast & the Hare).

If it's a breakfast joint that closes after the lunch rush and offers actual seating and table service, then you're likely about to enjoy a fine diner experience (see: Butler & the Chef). If laminated menus are involved, you can set your spending expectation a bit lower and enjoy your standard diner fare. Sometimes it'll be exceptional (see: Dottie's True Blue Cafe) while others it will be well, standard.

If you're in a bar that has a bar snack menu, you're in a very mixed bag situation. You might be at 15 Romolo, in which case you're in luck. You might have stumbled into Dear Mom on a Saturday they have a bartenders brunch, in which case you're in even more luck. Or you walked into Nova Bar, in which case you should get the hell out and go anywhere else.

In sum, whatever you're looking for can be found. This is just one way to whittle down the million and one options to the one you want.

Dear Valentine's Day: Suck It.

Warning: This post is a Valentine's day rant and contains nary a mention of brunch.

I don't mean to sound like a spoil sport, but I don't like Valentine's day. Yes, obviously I hate it more when single, but I don't like much more when paired. Expectations are hard enough on relationships without Hallmark trying to reenforce that if your boyfriend doesn't buy you something (choose 2): a) heart shaped b) delicious or c) expensive then he probably doesn't deserve to live.

But that aside, there are more practical reasons for hating Valentine's day. Reservations are impossible  to make (thank God, it's on a Tuesday this year). Prix-fixe menus take over the world. TV sitcoms become uniquely horrible rehashing the same 5 plots of wacky romantic gestures gone awry.

And to top all of that off, there is simply no avoiding it: Valentines Day is everywhere.

It's the most insidious of all holidays (well, maybe tied with Christmas), usurping window displays in convenience stores; being the default theme of every event from February 1st - 14th; and being the object of affection for every marketer of perfume, panties, candies, and even life insurance (because if you really love her, give her the gift of security this year!).

Unlike Christmas, you're not allowed to dislike Valentine's day without being a bitter asshole.

I'd love for Valentine's day to be more optional (I have the same dream for Christmas), so that one could choose to enjoy it. But, alas, I don't see a reversion from the stuffed-down-your-throat war path the world's most annoying holiday is on.

In sum: Suck it, Saint Valentine.

DIY Afterbites: Adventures in Poaching

I wrote a lengthy post proclaiming that I would learn how to poach an egg, and I'm proud to say I wasn't all talk. Here's a quick photo recap of my adventures in poaching.

To start I took Alton Brown's advice and used a skillet with about 2 inches of water instead of a deep pot, and set out on my adventure.

Once I was at a low boil is when things started getting "real" (said with the kind of emphasis that hip young kids use to denote an increase in situational intensity).

The egg was cracked and waiting to be dropped in -- would the yolk break and dissipate around the skillet like shattering glass to the floor?

This was a moment of truth.

Which went surprisingly well.  On the first try I was able to get the egg cracked and going in a simmering swirling vortex.

This probably falls into my top 10 proudest life moments. Definitely in the top 10 of my domestic life at least. Probably top 3.

But it wasn't time to celebrate yet. It wasn't until I lifted the egg out of the pan and saw it sitting in poached perfection that I could pat myself on the back. Since my own delusional sense of pride weren't enough, I forced my two roommates to come into the kitchen and congratulate me on my glorious achievement.

The final result was served over greens & toasted challah with a balsamic vinaigrette, cranberries and capers... and I enjoyed every last bite.

After Bites: Sports & Brunch = Oil & Water

I thought brunch at a sports bar would be a magical mixing of worlds. My favorite foods. My favorite friends. Sports. Mimosas. We headed to Public House, one of my favorite bourgeois sports bars (TVs everywhere! cleanliness! good beers on tap!) in the city, with high hopes and happy spirits. We left having learned a lesson.

All the ingredients were there, but they just didn't mix. Maybe we made a mistake or two -- like starting with a communal nacho plate -- but ultimately it was the atmosphere. The incongruity of trying to watch a game over brunch was near impossible. The game was distracting from the conversation and no one was in the mindset to watch a game.

Oh, and did I mention we that started with the nachos? Huge mistake.  Every subsequent bite of anything wound up tasting like refried beans. Things didn't get any better when our main dishes came since I had ordered the huevos rancheros, but there weren't that many menu options.

I might try this experiment again, 21st Amendment would be the next on my list. Maybe I won't. If I do, I can promise that I will not be eating nachos before noon ever again.

Unnatural Selection: Brunch at a Sports Bar

I grew up a 15 minute walk from Fenway Park, the oldest baseball stadium in the country and home of the Boston Red Sox. Two of my brothers worked in the food stands at Fenway as teenagers, so despite never having paid for a ticket, I went to a lot of Sox games as a kid, ate a lot of ballpark food, and collected quite a few autographs at the back gate of the players parking lot. Those are some of best memories of growing up, so it would be hard not to be a Red Sox fan.

Because my dad is a fan, I also grew up watching the Celtics in the post-Bird days when their seasons ranged from mediocre to terrible. Ever the immigrant, my dad never took to baseball but basketball's fast pace and universally understood premise appealed to him. I didn't appreciate his love of basketball until I realized that I had inherited his yell-at-the-screen style of zealous Celtics fandom. All that said, I am a sports fan -- an obnoxious Boston sports fan -- with a dirty secret: I don't really care for football.

With New England Patriots taking on the Giants (who defeated Pats in 2008) in Super Bowl 46 this year, it feels like I should care. So I'm committing myself to caring about the Super Bowl. To gear up for it, I'm going to watch the NFL Pro Bowl game this weekend. (Yes, I know it's a meaningless ratings grab game, but at least I'll know who all the players are.)

To get myself psyched up for the Pro Bowl, I'm going to have a thematically appropriate brunch at a sports bar this weekend. In many cities that might sound like a mythical beast, but here in San Francisco there are a lot of options for brunching surrounded by flat screens exclusively dedicated to airing sports. Given SF's love of brunch, it would be silly for sports bars with decent kitchens not to jump on the brunch band wagon in this city.

Although there are options, I have my doubts as to whether a sports bar can actually serve up a decent brunch, it just seems like such an unnatural pairing. Or is it? Sunday games are a time when people come together for bouts of daytime drinking and feasting, which is at the heart of every good brunch. Maybe the sports bar brunch is the next evolution of brunch, making it an acceptable meal for bros to eat together without the presence of a female. Or maybe it's a fad that won't take off: can sports bars with full kitchens capture enough of the trendy San Francisco brunch spenders to make it worthwhile?

And so, with low expectations but an open mind, the journey begins. Expect a full report soon.

The Follow Up: Birthday Brunch Brilliance

With a big thanks to good friends and the very accommodating Slow Club, I am pleased to say that my birthday was the best I've ever had. I had the grown up version of an 8 year old's party -- complete with paper party hats.

While my friends arrived early, I of course, was late (I had to pick up party hats!). Arriving in style donning a plastic tiara, the Slow Club's bar in the back of the restaurant made the perfect waiting spot for people who were making their way through jalapeno bloody marys when I walked in.

Our waitress was simply fantastic, sitting us as soon as I came in, joining in on a round of "Happy Birthday," and letting me put candles into every dish that came out  -- at one point, I blew out the candle on a birthday bloody mary.

Birthdays come buy once a year, and what better way to celebrate than with birthday bourbon french toast at brunch?

And, in case you missed it, here's my planning guide for birthday brunches.

Brunch About: January 12th 2012

This weekend is my birthday, so with that in mind here are some suggestions for festive places to brunch this weekend.

Frjtz Fries (Valencia location): With fairytale light fixtures and patterned walls, the decor is a permanent ode to an eight year old girl's birthday party. Frjtz's brunch menu is pretty extensive, offering up eggs with fixings and mixings 7-ways from Sunday and "Brazilian" style french toast if you're feeling sweet & adventurous.

Suppenküche: Get your daytime drinking on Bavarian style over *very* hearty sausage dishes. With a slightly rowdy atmosphere (if you bring it), it's a venue that even the manliest group of men will have a great time brunching. Oh, the vegetarian in your group will also have a few options, so don't worry that anyone will go hungry in meat heaven.

15 Romolo: A somewhat recent addition to the brunch scene, 15 Romolo is taking advantage of their culinary chops and cocktail mastery to bring you Punch Drunk Brunch (not to be confused with the Bruno's popup Brunch Drunk Love). Head to 15 Romolo to reat yo' self by getting a fancy drink to celebrate the finer things in life.

Been There, Brunched That: Brick House Cafe

This past Saturday was New Years Eve, which meant that restaurants, cafes and convenience stores everywhere were a gamble with their opening hours. Some places made sure to post on their Twitter, add a note to their website, or at least put a sign on their door. Farmerbrown's Little Skillet was not one of these places.  

We set out that morning with a game plan: order a boatload of biscuits & gravy (with scrambled eggs), chicken & waffles, and breakfast po' boys bring the booty home and enjoy with some homemade mimosas in a glorious, gluttonous New Years Eve brunch at home. Upon discovering it was closed, we were devastated but not about to give up on brunch, so we headed across the street to Brick House Cafe.

Brick House has the appeal of your best friend's lumberjack Canadian cousin: it's got big portions, a manly outdoorsy feel, and the American dollar goes a long way here. Seriously, the place is all about quantity -- the heaping piles of anything you order mean that even your best friend's lumberjack Canadian cousin isn't likely to clean his plate. I happen to have a soft spot for Brick House, probably because while the brunch menu is absolutely mediocre, the place is full of kitschy charm and it knows its strengths.

Nothing you order at Brick House is bad, but in the back of your mind you also know that you could find a more delicious version of the same dish somewhere else. The focaccia my smoked salmon benedict was piled on top of was a bit stale, yet still couldn't stand up to the innocuously unflavored hollandaise sauce. But the plentiful smoked salmon, which is house caught and smoked, makes up for those short comings. The toast served with my friend's Cowboy combo clearly came out of a bag, the cheddar sprinkled haphazardly on top of his scrambled eggs wasn't melted, but none of that seemed too bad given that he was served at least 4 eggs (not the 2 the menu claims), thick slabs of bacon and the total for his meal was $8.

The best part about Brick House? It's fun. The daily quiz question gives you a chance to get 25¢ off your coffee (debating the answer took over the conversation at our table though we got it wrong). You can be a bit loud, but the place isn't too overwhelming and noisy. Oh, and the mimosas are $3. 

Though I would suggest visiting for dinner instead of brunch, but don't miss out on the Brick House if you're around AT&T park.

Brunch About: January 6th 2012

San Francisco Brunch Suggestions for this weekend.

Straw: Kitschy, fun and delicious. Enough said. (Hayes Valley)

B Bar: They put their $12 bottomless mimosas on the menu, so now you don't have to be an insider to get daytime drunk at a reasonable price. (Soma)

Farmer Browns: Screw your New Years Resolution (it's been a WEEK already) and head to the Jazz brunch buffet on Sunday for all the fried chicken your heart can handle. (Civic Center)

Things I'd Like to Learn: How to Poach an Egg

I'm not a terrible cook nor am I a wonderful cook, I'm averagely somewhere in-between. When I cook for my friends who don't cook, they're wildly impressed. When I cook for or with my friends who can cook, they are never disappointed. And I'm pretty proud of how far my cooking skills have come. Growing up, pretty much everything in our kitchen came out of a box or a can that was often found on the dented/near expiration discount shelves in the back of Star Market. As a kid, I thought cooking was anything you heated on the stove or in the oven instead of a microwave.

I've figured out how to chop fresh vegetables, though they're never particularly uniform or pretty. I've learned that pouring oil into a scalding hot skillet is a terrible idea. And I'm damn proud of my chocolate cranberry cookies, which have won over co-workers coast-to-coast.

When it comes to the incredible, edible egg I can handle myself pretty well. I can scramble eggs (I'm also quite proud of my goat cheese, oyster mushroom & green onion scramble), fry eggs so that the yolk stays mostly runny, make awkwardly shaped omelettes, and even make a fritta.

But I can't make my favorite type of egg: Poached.

I tried once and wound up with a boiling pot of stringy whites with a glop of yellow. I made myself feel better by going out to brunch and ordering a benedict, full well knowing I couldn't replicate the soft yolky perfection on my my plate. Now I'm ready to try again. I'd go as far as to say that it's my New Year's resolution.

I am going to learn to poach a perfect egg this weekend. With Alton Brown as my guide, I will learn and then use my powers to make the best darn smoked salmon Benedict that I've ever tasted.  Wish me luck.

Brunch Etiquette: Birthday Brunches

I almost always cry on my birthday. And not always because I'm sad -- at least 50% of the time I cry because I'm happy. Crying is not a particularly special phenomenon for me  (I cry every time I watch Love Actually or when the Boston Celtics lose a post season game), and since birthdays are rife with either disappointment or pleasant surprises, it's not shocking that I often find myself crying. That said, I have made it a rule to hide on my birthday.*

But not this year. This year I am going to do something that I love with people that I like a lot: Brunch.

There are different options for having Birthday Brunch, here's a basic break down:

• The At Home option, which entails me cooking and cleaning more than I want to on any day let alone on my birthday.
• The Private Room at a Restaurant option, which entails me spending more money on people I like a lot than I'd be willing to spend on people I love.
• The Standard Reservation at a Restaurant option, which is the perfect balance of choosing where & when without the clean up, cooking or cost.

While there's likely to be a few hiccups (waiting to be seated, dealing with the bill, etc), I'm planning a standard reservation brunch for a group of 10+ people at an undisclosed venue. After all, what better way to celebrate me than by having people come to a restaurant, sing me Happy Birthday, and pay for their own food?

Once this birthday brunch actually happens in a few weeks, I'm going to revisit the topic, but a few tips on planing a standard reservation birthday brunch for yourself:

• Get a head count before you make a reservation. You don't want to modify a large reservation multiple times, especially at the last minute. 
• Make a reservation early. It's brunch in San Francisco (or any other major US city nowadays), the closer it is to the date, the fewer options you'll have.
• If you have special requests, accommodations or want to pre-purchase something for the group, call ahead. Not an email, not a comment on the reservation form. An actual phone call.
• If you do pre-order/purchase or something for the group, give your credit card when you call so it can be charged ahead of time separate from the group bill.
• Ask people to bring cash if you're going to be splitting the bill. 

I'm debating whether or not to add "bring party hats" to the suggestions list, though for now I'll hold off until I see how they go over...

*How do you hide on your birthday? Easy, make your birthday invisible and disable your wall on the Facebook, so the few friends that remember your birthday without a reminder can't write an impersonal note to the world congratulating you on living another year. When you're at work, field all phone calls from family and friends in private, do not open any packages you receive in the office. Staying home sick is also an effective tactic.

Scenic Scene: Axis Cafe's Bland Brunch

I love taking brunch suggestions so even when I have somewhere in mind to brunch, if someone says "you've got to try this place," I usually have to try that place. This was the case with Axis Cafe & Gallery. A quick Yelp scan didn't dissuade me, the nebulous 3.5 rating zone always leaves me curious about a place -- it might be good or at worst completely unremarkable.

Axis Cafe is, by all appearances, the perfect brunch spot.
 The high ceilings and spacious seating make it a great place to go with a friend for a long conversation. Or there's no shame in bringing your laptop to Axis and working over brunch in one of the comfortable chairs.

Then comes the food. And, by all appearances, the food looked good but unlike the venue it was less than memorable.

The menu has some intriguing sounding dishes like Smoked Salmon on Broccolini Pancakes with Lemon Aioli, as well as some comfort food sides like Mac & Cheese, both of which we ordered.  The pancakes cold, the garnish wilting and the soft boiled egg slightly congealed made the Salmon dish completely unremarkable, but for $9 there wasn't too much to complain about.The hostess and waitress were a high point -- the polite and quick service made the out-of-the box flavor of the mac & cheese bearable.

I can imagine Axis being a neighborhood favorite because there isn't too much competition for brunch in the surrounding few blocks, the price point isn't too high, and the atmosphere and service are simply lovely. However brunch for under $40 dollars for two people isn't impossible to find anywhere else, so even for all that's good I don't think I'd bother to be back to Axis Cafe for the food.


All the details:
Axis Cafe & Gallery 
1201 8th St between Wisconsin St & Irwin St

Mon-Fri 8 am - 9 pm

Sat-Sun 10 am - 3 pm